George (or)W(ell) Bush and his awesome “general time horizon”

July 19th, 2008 at 08:41am Pat Cunningham

(NOTE: Don’t miss the updates at the bottom of this brilliant satire.)

Only our Dear Leader could show us the rhetorical error of Barack Obama’s ways.

Obama, a man of dubious loyalties, has long favored a “timeline” for withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq.  But that would be folly, Dear Leader has warned. That would send a signal to the terrorists that we’re leaving Iraq to the Iraqis.  That would be bad.

Instead, Dear Leader has come up with the IDEA of a “general time horizon” for withdrawal of U.S. troops. Those words, of course, will cleverly confuse the terrorists, who are not familiar with Dear Leader’s mysterious linguisticismizings.

So brilliant is Dear Leader’s plan for a general time horizon that even the ordinarily intransigent Obama has conceded that it’s “a step in the right direction.”

But, you ask, what is the reaction of John McCain, the would-be successor to Dear Leader? Well, McCain, the poor sap, characteristically has come up with a pathetic ALTERNATIVE name for the plan. He calls it a “conditions-based withdrawal.”  Lord, help us! Even the terrorists likely will cringe at the lack of poetry in that phrase.

General time horizon!  It’s a term that will take its place in history alongside the other great generals — Washington, Grant, Eisenhower, Motors, Mills, Electric.

All hail Dear Leader!

UPDATE: Uh-oh! The prime minister of Iraq SAYS he prefers Obama’s plan for withdrawal of troops, and he adds that McCain’s plan for “prolonging the tenure of U.S. troops in Iraq would cause problems.”

UPDATE II: Send in the clowns! It says HERE that “The White House this afternoon accidentally sent to its extensive distribution list a Reuters story headlined ‘Iraqi PM backs Obama troop exit plan - magazine.’”

UPDATE III: Ezra Klein SAYS Obama would lose the election if the Iraqi PM had dissed Obama’s plan and endorsed McCain.

Entry Filed under: general time horizon, War in Iraq, John McCain, President Bush, Barack Obama