A bailout alternative that appeals to morons

September 29th, 2008 at 12:21pm Pat Cunningham

 

Viral political emails hold little appeal for me, mainly because they’re almost always full of malarkey.

Here’s a great example. It’s a brainstorm of uncertain authorship that’s been sweeping the Internet like wildfire in recent days. Oh, it has its populistic charms, to be sure, but it also has one particular flaw (which I’ll explain at the end):

Hi Pals,

I’m against the $85 billion bailout of AIG. Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85 billion to America as a “We Deserve It” dividend.

To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200 million bona fide U.S. citizens over the age of 18. Since our population is about 301 million including children, it seems 200 million might be a good estimate of the total number of adults. So, divide 200 million adults into $85 billion, which equals $425,000. My plan is to give $425,000 to every person over the age of 18 as a “We Deserve It” dividend.

Of course, it would not be tax free. So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual receiving this dividend is required to pay $127,500 in taxes. That sends $25.5 billion right back to Uncle Sam. On the other hand, it means every adult has $297,500 in his/her pocket. A husband and wife would have $595,000.

What would you do with $297,500 or $595,000 for your family?

• Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.
• Repay college loans - a boost for new graduates.
• Put money away for college.
• Put it in the bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
• Buy a new car - create jobs.
• Invest in the market - capital drives growth.
• Pay for your parent’s medical insurance - health care improves.
• Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else.

Remember, this is for every adult U.S. citizen over the age of 18 including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we’re going to redistribute wealth let’s really do it…instead of trickling out a puny $1000 economic “incentive” that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we’re going to do an $85,000,000,000.00 bailout, let’s bail out every U.S. citizen.

As for AIG, liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up. Here’s my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t.

Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.” But can you imagine the coast-to-coast block party? How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow Americans to know how to use the $85 billion We Deserve It dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington, DC. Don’t forget, this plan only costs $59.5 billion because $25.5 billion is returned instantly to the government in taxes.

Countless blogs and Web sites have endorsed this proposal — ignoring one little problem (beyond the bad writing): 85 billion divided by 200 million is not 425,000; it’s only 425.

So, the whole idea is ridiculous.

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