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What divine message will televangelists perceive if hurricane disrupts GOP convention in Florida?

As you may have heard by now, weather forecasters are warning of the possibility that a hurricane might strike Florida next week just as the Republicans are meeting in Tampa for their quadrennial convention.

This raises the question of how televangelists Pat Robertson and John Hagee will explain to their respective flocks exactly why God would visit hardship and perhaps disaster on the Sunshine State at the very time that the holier of our two political parties is holding such an important gathering.

You see, Robertson and Hagee are both known for attributing disasters to heavenly displeasure with some kind of rampant immorality.

For example, just a few days after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001,  Robertson said he concurred with Jerry Falwell’s theory that the carnage was God’s punishment for sins of “the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way–all of them who have tried to secularize America.”

Four years later, Hagee explained Hurricane Katrina thusly:

“All hurricanes are acts of God, because God controls the heavens. I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God, and they are — were recipients of the judgment of God for that. The newspaper carried the story in our local area that was not carried nationally that there was to be a homosexual parade there on the Monday that the Katrina came. And the promise of that parade was that it was going to reach a level of sexuality never demonstrated before in any of the other Gay Pride parades. So I believe that the judgment of God is a very real thing. I know that there are people who demur from that, but I believe that the Bible teaches that when you violate the law of God, that God brings punishment sometimes before the day of judgment. And I believe that the Hurricane Katrina was, in fact, the judgment of God against the city of New Orleans.”

So, when will these two men, both of whom claim to know the will of God, tell us why Florida would suddenly be subjected to such heavenly wrath?

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20 Comments

  1. This is what we should all be talking about right now.

    http://thehill.com/blogs/on-the-money/budget/244703-cbo-warns-of-deep-recession-if-congress-fails-to-act-on-fiscal-cliff

    The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office (CBO) on Wednesday warned the economy will enter a recession next year if the country goes over the so-called fiscal cliff.

    In its most dire warning yet about the fiscal cliff, the CBO said the economy would contract by 0.5 percent in calendar year 2013 if the George W. Bush-era tax rates expire and automatic spending cuts are implemented.

    Unemployment also would rise from 8.2 percent in 2012 to 9.1 percent next year, the office estimates.

    “The stakes of fiscal policy are very high right now,” CBO Director Doug Elmendorf said. He urged Congress to act in September to avoid the fiscal cliff.

    “The sooner that that uncertainty is resolved, the stronger the economy would be in the second half of this year,” he said. “Economic growth right now is being held back by the anticipation of this fiscal tightening.”

    CBO does not make recommendations to Congress but last year laid out the economic and budget effects of a range of choices for Congress, Elmendorf said.

    He added that under current law, there are 2 million fewer jobs than if the fiscal cliff does not take place and said most of the contraction is due to the tax increases.

  2. doc: Spare us the blah, blah, blah.

    You’re completely ignoring the distinct possibility that God might soon express his displeasure with the Republican Party by visiting a disaster upon its national convention.

    Pretending to ignore the wrath of the Man Upstairs will do you no good.

    Repent now! Give up your foolish right-wing ways! If you can’t do that, at least stay away from Rockford. We don’t want to be collateral damage when you finally are subjected to divine retribution.

  3. Ah yes, liberals always hear blah,blah,blah when you bring up boring topics like math, fiscal calamity and economic despair.

    Doesn’t fit the party line of more entitlements for more future committed voters.

  4. doc: The “fiscal calamity” to which you refer looms largely as a result of the actions (or lack thereof) of your idiot Republican friends in Congress.

    Of course, you don’t understand that. You can’t recognize that the party you support is made up of the worst of our “entitlement” leeches.

    You seem to have a notion that you’re an emerging member of the plutocratic class and that your economic self-interest is more important than any American tradition of fair play.

    You even seem ignorant of the fact that the U.S. economy was much more healthy and vibrant when tax rates on fat cats were higher than they are now.

    Your fealty to a Republican Party that’s been overrun by extremists is truly pathetic.

  5. Extremists?

    Ha.

    That brings to mind a Bill O’Reilly column that appeared in my local paper the other day.

    http://www.billoreilly.com/currentarticle

    So, defining Congressman Ryan as extreme is an interesting scare tactic. And one that might be extended in the days to come. Here are some other positions that the committed left media considers extreme:

    – If you believe traditional marriage should be kept as the exclusive standard, you are not only extreme, you are a homophobe.

    – If you believe that all Americans should pay less in taxes, you are greedy and an anti-poor extremist.

    – If you believe the Second Amendment gives Americans the right to buy and possess guns you are promoting violence in an extreme way.

    – If you believe the government has a duty to combat overseas terrorists without giving them Constitutional protections, you are an extreme anti-human rights individual.

    – If you believe that abortion is the taking of a human life – you are an anti-woman extremist.

    – If you support securing the nation’s borders and regulating immigration, you are anti-Hispanic.

    The list goes on and on.

    By labeling someone as extreme, you can dismiss what he or she says. That’s the strategy being used against Congressman Ryan. New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd writes: “Ryan should stop being so lovable. People who intend to hurt other people should wipe the smile off their faces.”

    So in Ms. Dowd’s estimation, Paul Ryan is in politics to harm the folks. He gets up every day and plots the personal damage he might be able to achieve.

    This is now where we are in American politics. If Ryan’s reform vision will harm Americans, let’s hear some specifics. So far, under President Obama, we have a sluggish economy, high unemployment, and record debt. Sounds harmful to me.

    But then again, I’m an extremist.

  6. By the way, my idiot Republican friends in Congress passed a budget that would address these issues. How has Mr. Reid done on his end? How many votes did the budget of the brilliant President in the oval office receive? Who’s the extremist again?

  7. “…a Republican Party that’s been overrun by extremists…”

    So true. Even Barry Goldwater would be a mainstream Democrat these days, and he was considered pretty rightwing in his day.

  8. dogrescuer

    Hurricane on GOP convention day? Maybe God is angry that Romney doesn’t change his magic underwear often enough. I can’t think of any other possible reason for God’s wrath, because the Republican Party is holy and perfect in every other way.

  9. C’mon boys and girls on the left ! No one has even mentioned global warming….er….climate change yet.

    I am so disappointed. :(

  10. That’s because we all know global warming is caused by god. She wants everyone to go naked, just like the way we were born.

  11. I already do that.

    Maybe Paul Ryan will too.

  12. Nudity — the new republican transparency. It has been tested in the Sea of Galilee.

  13. Good one!

  14. Pretty simple really. God is peeved that the Republicans are nominating a Mormon instead of a Christian.

  15. Mormons are Christians. They are just Christians plus a little.

  16. Jerry: Good point. The fact of the matter is that any one claim to Christianity is as good as any other. No earthly being has the authority to decide who’s a real Christian and who’s not.

    If Mormons claim to be Christians, that’s good enough for me. The same goes for snake handlers, Seventh Day Adventists, Jehovah’s Witnesses or any other group that claims for itself a belief in Jesus Christ.

    People who argue that certain other Christians aren’t really Christians don’t know what they’re talking about.

  17. Vote Against Bain Capital

    Fascinating… reading the Bill O’Reilly delusional brainwashing firsthand from one of the zombies. Abortion, gun control, and gay marriage. The only matter related to real government or issues in any meaningful way is taxes, and of course, the answer is less of them, which benefits noone except those who are funding Bill O’Reilly, not those stupid enough to listen him.

    Zombie, let me ask you a question. How is it possible that so many serious public issues related to domestic and international policy can be IGNORED outright by your party, while you sanctimoniusly whine about who is getting laid? Are you jealous? Does your God approve of a venture capitalist, pathological liar connected to central american execution squads, with no understanding of the concept of government and no ability to make foreign policy decisons?

    This is by far the most terrifying candidate this nation has ever nominated. The most unqualified, the most lacking in character, the most likely to push the button and cause nuclear war while hiding in a bunker.

    If this is the scum that the Amercian people are unbelieveably and stupidly follow like zombie sheep to their slaughter, this nation deserves its impending status as a third world country.

  18. I didn’t realize Bain Capital was on the ticket. Who is their running mate? KFC?

    I have the number of an excellent therapist who can probably help you out a bit, but in the end strong anti-psychotic medications will probably be required.

  19. Vote Against Bain Capital

    Agreed, you need anti-psychotics, pdoc, that’s probably why you went into the field, and how frightening that you are the type of person “treating patients”. So does anyone who believes the delusions of the Republican party. Don’t like a fact? Just ignore it. Don’t have a position? Just lie.

  20. What would Pat Robertson say? Very simple, he would say that the GOP brought this upon themselves because they are not conservative and extremist enough.

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