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Web site horribly rewrites a column by Chuck Sweeny

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Ten days ago, my friend and former colleague at the Rockford Register Star Chuck Sweeny (above) wrote THIS COLUMN about Bruce Rauner, a candidate for the Republican nomination for governor of Illinois.

The next day, a Web site that calls itself Illinois News posted THIS INCREDIBLY BAD REWRITE of Sweeny’s column. Adding insult to injury, Sweeny was credited at the bottom of the piece.

How bad was the rewrite? Well, even the headline was awful: “Rockford ‘a bellwether’ for GOP administrator carefree Bruce Rauner.”

“GOP administrator carefree Bruce Rauner”? What’s that supposed to mean?

And then in the body of the story, the situation gets progressively worse, with a lot of awkward constructions and willy-nilly uses of the article “a.”

For example, there’s this:

Rauner, who announced his candidacy dual weeks ago for a 2014 GOP nomination, pronounced Rockford “is a bellwether for how a economy moves, how a schools improve.”

And this:

He pronounced his daughter didn’t wish him to run for administrator during initial since “Daddy, we don’t wish we to go to prison.”

And then there’s this lengthy passage of pure gibberish:

Rauner discussed 4 priorities: “I wish to make Illinois a No. 1 state in America for mercantile expansion and pursuit creation. Right now we’re among a worst. we wish to make us pro-business, pro-job creation.”

Second, “I wish to make Illinois supervision a many efficient, pure in America.” Third, “I wish to make a preparation complement a best in America. … Today, a politicians in Springfield are slicing propagandize funding, doing special deals with clergyman unions, permitting bad teachers to stay in a complement by tenure. We’ve got to change a schools so they’re manageable to a schoolchildren, a relatives and a property-taxpayers.”

Rauner’s fourth priority is tenure limits. Public use shouldn’t be a lifetime, wealth-building career, he said. “Everybody (should) offer 8 years and you’re out. No some-more Madigan energy structure for 30 years.”

Rauner talked about his impasse in Chicago-area charities and remodel efforts, observant he had been sanctified by his success during GTCR, a Chicago investment association he ran before timid in tumble 2012. Rauner pronounced he had told his 6 children he didn’t intend to pass all his income along to them, though would give most of it behind to his community, citing Luke 12:48: From everybody who has been given much, most will be demanded.

“My mother and we account a Red Cross, we account a YMCA, we account licence schools, we account clergyman training, we account health clinics and libraries, we built a Red Cross domicile in Chicago, we are giving behind in a vital way,” he said.

Rauner betrothed to ask business executives to minister time to assisting repair state supervision by portion in administration posts.

Asked how he’d cope with a General Assembly approaching to sojourn in Democrats’ hands, Rauner pronounced he’d talked to Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey and former Gov. Mitch Daniels of Indiana for advice, though he didn’t wish to recover his devise only yet.

He also betrothed to be an active member in a legislative give-and-take in Springfield, distinct new governors who have stayed in Chicago, detached from a sausage-making inside a Capitol. If he’s inaugurated governor, “I’m relocating a family to Springfield.”

The competition for administrator in 2014 is approaching to be a crowded. Democrats Bill Daley and Gov. Pat Quinn are running, and Attorney General Lisa Madigan is a intensity candidate.

In further to Rauner, Treasurer Dan Rutherford and Sen. Kirk Dillard are using on a GOP side; Sen. Pat Brady competence join a race.

Sweeny’s piece on Rauner was characteristically informative and well-written. It’s a shame that some moron at Illinois News mangled a good piece — and then attached Sweeny’s  name to the bottom of the whole mess.

In a just world, Chuck could sue the bastards.

UPDATE: Upon further examination, I find that the Illinois News web site badly mangles every story it rewrites. It’s almost, but not quite, satirical.

Check it out HERE.

UPDATE II: Upon still further examination, I can’t help but wonder if the stories at this Web site are rewritten by an errant computer program.

I mean, no human being could write that badly. There are few, if any, misspellings, but the sentence constructions and word choices are beyond awkward.

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5 Comments

  1. Marcus

    Pat, Chuck and friends: I believe you’ve been copied by a new AI (computer-managed) reporting service. I have other thoughts, but that’s at the top of my list.
    I thought about a foreign service trying to take some of the “news pie”, ESL maybe being a source of the bad wording… Check out the rest of the site; some phrases are reworded in less obvious ways- “gay marriage” becomes “happy matrimony”, “concealed carry” becomes “secluded lift”. Perhaps these word changes are an attempt to get around copy write, plagiarism, etc.
    I’m not sure, but that’s my take.

  2. Marcus: As noted in an “update” of my post, I, too, have surmised that Sweeny’s column was mangled by an errant computer program.

  3. Chuck Sween

    This Chuck is Sweeny of Illinois, Ford of Rocky water body. The writing of lines speak of you was winner of Howitzer Prize.

  4. Chuck Sweeny

    If you want to have other laughs, go to a foreign newspaper’s translation program and click the button for English. You’ll laugh so much your sides will ache, your heart will go pitter pat ….. Watchin’ Felix, the Wonderful Cat.

  5. Chuck Davidson

    Looks like your typical chinese instruction set for just about any product of China.

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