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Fox News: Obama trying to force Americans to live longer (satire)

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Andy Borowitz has the tongue-in-cheek story HERE:

In a blockbuster documentary to be broadcast tonight, the Fox News Channel alleges that Obamacare is “little more than a thinly veiled scheme to force Americans to live longer.”

The documentary, called “The Ugly Truth About Obamacare,” claims that President Obama “is cynically using the health-care law to achieve his true objective: raising the life expectancy of Americans without their consent.”

“In America, how long you live has always been your own business,” says the documentary’s narrator, Sean Hannity. “Under Obamacare, though, it’s the government’s business—a government that wants you to live as long as humanly possible.”

The documentary lays out a nightmare scenario of Americans being saddled with sky-high life expectancies for years to come.

In perhaps the most chilling prediction of the documentary, Mr. Hannity warns, “If Obamacare goes into effect, Americans will be forced to live as long as people in Finland, Denmark, and other socialist countries.”

Speaking with reporters today, Mr. Hannity said he hoped that the documentary would be a “wake-up call about the secret agenda behind Obamacare.”

“President Obama is playing God with American lives,” Mr. Hannity said. “And if he stubbornly insists on making those lives longer, that could be grounds for impeachment.”

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1 Comment

  1. Considering the amount of big monied corporate donors in politics and that Obamacare was a gift to the various industries that wrote that legislation through their lobbyists (which is the norm these days), it’s my greatest hope that these same corporate donors fund the opposition candidates to every Republican that votes for this shutdown.

    I’d like to know Dick Armey’s (former congressman from TX) role in all this drama. Armey may not be the official head of the Republican party, but he was a big player in the mobilizing of the Tea Party movement. I can’t imagine he’s dropped out of sight and lost interest in politics. He’s too mean spirited to just go away. He’s also the one that called Barney Frank, Barney Fag.

    “What’s the matter with Texas” would be the better title for the book written about Kansas. Texas politics seems to have more influence over federal policies than Kansas does. Do people realize that an overwhelming amount of public school books are published in Texas? How much are they re-writing history and science, particularly creationism vs evolution, for the new generations.

    But I digress.

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