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Boehner: Obama stubbornly refuses to end crisis I created (satire)

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Andy Borowitz has the tongue-in-cheek story HERE:

Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-Ohio) said that he was disappointed after meeting with President Obama at the White House on Wednesday afternoon, telling reporters, “The President is stubbornly refusing to end the crisis I created.”

“Government is about teamwork,” Mr. Boehner continued. “I’ve done my part by putting together an entirely optional crisis that has shut down the government and will throw thousands out of work. Now it’s up to the President to do his part by ending it.”

Mr. Boehner said that he was “flabbergasted” that the President was looking to him to bring the current government shutdown to an end: “So after doing all of the hard work to push the country to the brink, I’m supposed to pull it back, too? How about you pitching in a little, Mr. President?”

The House Speaker said that he hoped he did not have to manufacture another entirely avoidable crisis over the debt ceiling in order to stir the President to action. “Quite frankly, orchestrating these unnecessary stalemates takes a lot of energy and I could really use a rest,” he said.

But Mr. Boehner seemed pessimistic that the President “got the message.”

“Because of my actions, thousands of federal workers have already been furloughed,” he said. “How many more people do I have to throw out on the street before the President wakes up?”

 

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2 Comments

  1. Here’s more satire to be aired on Sunday’s football game. This should be pretty humiliating to Boehner.

    “John Boehner Blamed For Shutdown In New ‘Temper Tantrum’ Ad To Air During Sunday Football”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/04/john-boehner-shutdown-ad_n_4044042.html

  2. I got to think that there’s quite a few corporate heads out there not real happy about the current situation in WA DC. I sure hope they fund the opposition candidate to every representative that made this shutdown possible.

    If there can be anything good come out of big monied corporations swaying elections, this may be it. Of course, there will be a price to be paid for such things. I hope I don’t have to eat crow because the new ones could be worse if not properly vetted.

    I wonder if the Boehner ad, to be broadcast at the football game, was paid for from donations by recent big monied corporations that don’t want their name brand to be connected to this ad, but will enjoy the hoped for effect?

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