Reopening Rockford gay bar welcomes bachelorette parties, though Chicago counterparts don’t like ‘em
Add comment March 26th, 2009
After reading this Dawn Turner Trice column in the Chicago Tribune this week, I asked Mike Wright, who formerly was owner of The Office Niteclub in downtown Rockford and now is back in town and with partner Dan Ford again own and operate the place and will hold a grand reopening on April 4.
The column says “some gays are saying that bachelorette parties at their bars are becoming more than a minor nuisance. They’re a constant reminder that gays don’t have equal marriage rights.”
I asked Wright if The Office will welcome bachelorette parties and to comment on the issue. His e-mail response in its entirety follows:
“We will certainly let bachelorette parties continue at The Office, though we seldom have half naked dancers. And I do understand why many straight women (whether bachelorette parties or girls’ night out) come here so they aren’t so harassed by drunk men. Though, there are plenty of straight men that do come down because they have found out the “secret” of so many single women in here.
As for some gay bars in Chicago that won’t allow bachelorette parties, I can see where they’re coming from. My personal opinion is I prefer a mixed crowd of straight and gay people. We usually have a 50-50 mix of straight and gay people on weekend nights. To me, that is the acceptance that our community has fought to have for years. Straight people know they are going into a gay bar and having fun. To me, that is total acceptance. We have very few problems with those customers. And the straight people that would have a problem coming into our bar are the ones we don’t want to come in here anyway. But the other side of that issue for some bar owners is flaunting marriage in front of those of us that can’t legally define our relationships. Gay people pay taxes like everyone else. We fight in the military, we’re doctors, lawyers, teachers, clergy, family members, etc. Why shouldn’t we be allowed spousal recognition.
Like millions of other gay couples, Dan and I have spent thousands of dollars for legal documents to guarantee that we can visit each other in the hospital, make health decisions if one of us is hurt or sick, property rights, and the list goes on. While straight married couples do not have to spend one penny for that security. And if one of us were to die, 50% of everything we own would face inheritance taxes that a married straight couple would not have to pay. Nor could we claim the other’s SS benefits. There are nearly one thousand benefits that a married straight couple have over a gay couple when it comes to our government’s role.
For another example, a man and women could meet in Las Vegas, drink all day, get married that night, and get divorced 24 hours later. It is aggravating to know that their 24 hour marriage is legal and more validated by our government than Dan and my 27 years together.
It doesn’t make sense and I’m sure that is why some bar owners have harsh feelings towards bachelorette parties. Sometimes you can only get beat down so much before you lose your patience. Dan and I are a little more laid back then some of the big city bar owners. The old saying “it is what it is” rings true. We know that someday, and I truly believe it will be before we die, our relationship will get federally recognized status. I hate comparing different struggles thoughout our country’s history but here goes. You women were supposed to be subservient to men and could not vote, African-Americans had no rights at all, interracial couples could not marry, so we are just the most recent group of individuals that have to fight for our “equal rights” under the law.
By the way, many gay people want to be able to use the word marriage to define their relationship. We’re not so worried about the word as we are about the recognition that word stands for. Call it civil unions, domestic partners, or whatever the government wants to call it, as long as it’s legal. That would be a big step for gay people everywhere.”
