You STILL do not have H1N1 flu

May 4th, 2009 at 03:51pm Linda Grist Cunningham

Vocabulary lesson 101.

Epidemic: An outbreak of something that spreads or grows suddenly (usually refers to a disease, although one could, I guess, have an epidemic of happiness.) The key word is suddenly.

Pandemic: An outbreak of something that spreads or grows over a wide area and affects an exceptionally high percentage of the population. (Again, usually refers to a disease, though we could have a pandemic of happiness). The key words are wide and high percentage.

I knew, just knew, we were in for dumb-cluck times when the television and radio talking heads discovered, tada, PANDEMIC. Scary sounding word said with ominous, breathless overtones. Darn, it sounds so much worse than epidemic.

I am pretty sure no one bothered to look it up; just figured if an epidemic were serious, then, by gosh, a PANDEMIC would be ever so much better. And, they were off to the races.

I am tired of being blamed for the scare stuff of the swine flu, or as it as been renamed to protect the pigs, H1N1. Newspapers did not, repeat, did not, turn this into a circus. For that three-ring event that resulted in a crazy quilt of closed schools, canceled vacations and nutty interviews, you can call up the television and radio stations, led by CNN and FOX.

Their little local brothers did tag along though. WREX posted an ALL CAPS, second coming Facebook post on one school closing. All caps? What will they use when the world ends?

Do we need to know about H1N1? Yes. Do our emergency responders need to be ready? Absolutely. But, do we need broadcast hysteria? Hardly. So, call them up. Stop including newspaper reporters in the “who was nuts” game.

I’m going to wash my hands. But, before I do, one last thought: This has all been a global governmental disaster drill. It’s testing emergency preparedness around the world and was agreed upon during those big economic summits of the past two months. Either that, or it’s a reality TV show and we’re all characters in the series.

Warm up ‘dem black helicopters…..

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