Carbs…glorious carbs

1 comment August 18th, 2009

You know the song, “Food, Glorious Food” from the musical Oliver? I like to parody songs and make up my own words. My version is called, “Carbs, Glorious Carbs.”

Carbs get a bad rap. Someone needs to take up their plight and defend their honor. I will mount my trusty steed and go into battle, carrying a banner proclaiming CARBS GLORIOUS CARBS.

Fruits and veggies get all the glory. Carbs are shunned. My mama taught me to be nice to everyone. Carbs are welcome in my house and on my plate. I try to introduce carbs to my friends, but they look at me with horrified stares.

“You can’t eat carbs!” they gasp.

“Here, try a little,” I say, as I rip off a hunk of fresh warm French bread loaf.

They shudder and back away. A health-nut friend recently invited me over for a cookout. I brought potatoes, pasta salad, and bread. Maybe a pound cake too. No one touched the carbs but me. Poor ostracized carbs.

A day without starch is like a day without…carbs. Pasta. Hafta eat it. Weekly. Rice. It’s nice. With anything and everything. A freshly pressed shirt requires a bit of starch. A yummy meal requires a bit of starch too.

I have always championed the underdog and will continue to do so. I will fight for equal rights for carbs. Something that is so enjoyable must have some redeeming nutritional value. Carbs want to bring pleasure into our lives. I know they do in mine. And that brings to mind another song: If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right.