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Licking Batteries

The other day I had to replace a battery in a clock. We were out of AA batteries, but I remember seeing one downstairs by my son’s television. Since my sons never throw anything away, I assumed it was a dead battery, but I had to try it anyway.

I debated giving it the tongue test. I had vague memories of licking batteries to see if they still had any juice in them. I couldn’t recall if this method was fact or fiction so I opted to simply put it in the clock and see if it started ticking. I was right. My son simply had not thrown away a dead battery.

My curiosity got the better of me and I went online to look up “licking batteries.” It cracked me up to even type such a thing, but that is the way of our new Google world.

The lick test would not have been an indicator for me. I would have experienced what a dirty battery tastes like, but that would be it. If you lick a AA, AAA, C or D battery, nothing will happen because your tongue won’t touch both positive and negative terminals. That’s what makes the magic happen.

If you are going to lick a battery, it has to be a 9-volt battery because they have both charges on one end. As kids, we must have done it, because a tinny, metallic taste appeared in my memory.

My research informed me that the “charge” you get is from the current passing between the terminals across one’s wet tongue. It doesn’t actually enter your body. There is no danger in licking a 9-volt, and I read about one preschool teacher doing it with four year olds. They even had a mom there washing the batteries between licks so the kids didn’t share their germs.

My brain started pulling up other long last “facts.” Remember the one about you can’t go swimming right after eating?

Many moms lived by the rule that you had to wait 30 minutes (or an hour) before going back into the water. If you want your kids to do other things, fine, but if the reason was that it was somehow “unsafe” to go play in the water after eating, there is no fact behind that myth.

The theory is that people believed you had to give your body time to digest the food in order to have the strength to swim. The scientific evidence is that the body can process your lunch and you will still have enough oxygen flowing to keep your muscles strong.

The other “rule” that came to mind was no snacking before dinner, it will ruin your appetite. If I lived by that one, I would be Crabby Abby come supper time. A snack to stave off the hunger helps metabolism and mood. And I eat my dinner just fine.

Okay, answers solved. Licking a double-A battery does nothing, you can swim after eating, and a small snack can be a good thing. I didn’t have any 9-volt batteries in the house so I can’t tell you if I would licked or not. I think I would have. I do know that it’s time for a snack. And then maybe a swim. Any other questions, ask me. Or Google. And if you lick a battery, tell me what it tastes like.

(Kelly Epperson Simmons coaches women how to get the charge back in their life, and doesn’t suggest licking batteries. Get the free ebook “7 Steps to Happy Right Now” at www.kellyepperson.com. JOY programs enrolling now. Write info@kellyepperson.com or call tollfree 888-637-3563.)

 

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