Never say never…
I’m never gonna have big boobs.
My mom didn’t exactly lie to me. She said that when I hit puberty, my boobs would grow. I guess they did, just not very much.
Oh well. What was a lament of my young-girl days is no biggee now as an adult. The size of my boobs has not hindered me personally, professionally, and I can give really close hugs. And never say never. I temporarily had big boobs after the birth of my sons and if I wanted them permanently, I could pay for some. I don’t want to. I’m good with my middle-age no-saggers.
I’m never going to meet Nora Ephron.
I started reading Nora’s essays back when she wrote about wanting breasts too. I had Crazy Salad long before I knew I would became an essayist. Most people know Nora’s name from the movies, like “Sleepless in Seattle” and “Julie & Julia.” I fell in love with Nora the writer long before that.
It was my joy and heartfelt humbled awe to be next to Nora when my first book hit the shelves at Barnes & Noble. My collection of essays was sandwiched between Nora’s I Feel Bad About My Neck and something from Jeff Foxworthy. The thrill of having a book in bookstores was doubled by seeing my book rubbing covers with Nora Ephron.
I sent her a letter proclaiming my love and included a picture of my book next to hers. I like to imagine she smiled before she tossed my note in the trash. More than likely, her assistant screened her mail, and letters from potential crazies never made it into her hands, but hey, we all have our fantasies.
Now that Nora has passed on, I will never meet her in the flesh. But you know what, through her work, I have met her. And who knows what happens when I leave this earthly plane; maybe we’ll chat about breasts and necks somewhere in the great beyond. Never say never…
What is your “never”? “I’m never gonna meet Mr. Right.” Please don’t think that. When I divorced, I was delightfully surprised how many wonderful men are out there. There are many Mr. Rights out there and you will find yours. I met my Prince Charming, who is not only Mr. Right For Me, he is Mr. Perfect For Me, and there is one out there for you too.
“I’m never gonna lose weight.” “I’m never gonna be able to afford that.” “I’m never going to be truly happy.” “I’m never gonna finish my book.” I’m never gonna get over that gal using the word ‘gonna.’”
Listen to the gal with sloppy grammar: Watch your words. Start with the switch to “I am losing weight.” Even if you haven’t shed a pound, you can turn the tide simply by saying I AM losing weight. Think it, feel it, believe it, then watch it happen.
I am able to afford this. I am finishing my book. I am happy. I am able to tolerate those with poor grammar.
Take your never and switch it to I AM. Once you shift your energy like that, that’s when things start to happen. You will suddenly meet someone who can help you, or you will read something that lifts and inspires you, or an elegant idea will suddenly appear. Let it in. Then take some kind of action. Next thing you know, the word “never” will have disappeared from your vocabulary.
If I’d really wanted big boobs, I would have them. And when I think on it, if I had really wanted to meet Nora, I would have made it happen. I have a long list of authors I’ve met and all kinds of wild dreams that have come true. When we have strong desire, we take strong action. Sometimes the desire is eclipsed by a limiting belief, and that’s where the I AM shift kicks in.
What is it that you want this year? Every time your never voice speaks up, turn it around and instead feel the desire and the possibility. Open up to the help that is all around you. Allow yourself to receive. In time, you too may join in the Never Say Never circle.
What’s it for you? Pay attention. “I’m never going to be organized.” “I’m never going to be able to stop drinking soda.” “I’m never going to learn Swahili.”
Jambo. That’s Hello in Swahili. You’ve begun. One small action leads to the next. Asante! Thank you!
Never say never…