The truth about love…

The truth about love is….

How do you finish that statement? Many a songster has answered that for us. Love stinks. Love is a many splendored thing. Love is thicker than water.

Prince Charming and I recently attended a Pink concert in Chicago, part of her Truth About Love tour. She has her own take on that theme. “The truth about love is it’s nasty and it’s salty; It’s the regret in the morning; It’s the smelling of armpits.”

Score one for originality there. She does have a moment of the up side: “It’s wings and songs and trees and birds; It’s all the poetry that you ever heard.”

Pink’s truth about love makes for interesting songs and a great stage show. She has a passionate love/can’t stand him relationship with her husband. Her truth differs from my truth. My truth will differ from your truth.

That’s the truth about love.

We all crave it, be it from a partner, a parent, or a pet. Humans need love. That may be one universal truth we all can agree on. Other than that, our truths may vary from, well, the smelling of armpits to the smelling of roses.

When you first fall in love, you see the good qualities. Infatuation can lead to rock solid romance and lifelong commitment. Many folks think that “once you get to know a person” the inevitable kicks in, and they assume that the inevitable is bad stuff, a bunch of annoying habits that you ignored during the dating time.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Yes, the longer you know someone, you learn more about them. Our society has us programmed to think that the other shoe has to drop and you must settle into a routine of putting up with each other. The idea seems to be that a long relationship means finding out more things to NOT like about your partner.

Many are trained to think this is normal. For some, that’s their truth about love. “I will barely tolerate you until death do us part.”

Doesn’t have to be that way. The truth about love is that it is in the eye of the beholder. You can chose to focus on the good, the things that attracted you in the first place. If you look for more good qualities, you will find them. You can fall deeper and deeper in love. That’s the truth about love.

You can allow yourself to be irritated by toilet seats, toothpaste tubes, and towels (I know a couple who argued about how to fold the bath towels), or you can allow yourself to see how patient, understanding and caring your partner is.

It’s always your choice. That’s the truth about love. Some folks turn love into a score card. I did this, so she/he should do that, and on and on. If you want that to be your truth, have at it. You’ll be among those singing Love Stinks.

If your mate is not the right mate (that happens), then make the break and find the right one. No one is perfect, but there is someone (or something) that is right and perfect for you. And that’s the truth about love.

Love grows and flows, and love to a 16-year-old is much different than with a 66-year-old, but it’s just as awesome and important.

The most awesome and important note is self love. You are worthy of true beautiful lasting love. When you believe it, you will have it. And that’s the truth about love.

(Kelly Epperson Simmons is an author/speaker/coach who helps folks birth their books. See www.kellyepperson.com or call toll free 888-637-3563.)