“I’m sorry, I had to shoot you because you are wearing tennis shoes today and I just can’t control myself when I see someone wearing tennis shoes with jeans!” How logical or credible does that sound? Should the focus and reprimand be on the guy who was shot for having the bad sense to wear tennis shoes with his jeans, or on the shooter for his lack of impulse control, bad judgement and illegal behavior?
This argument in this scenario is no different than a woman who is raped because she was dressed “provocatively” in public. It’s ridiculous that women who are raped are still being blamed for being the victim! What about the guy who raped her? Why isn’t the focus on his dominance, control and violence issues? I’m sick of hearing excuses for the poor, weak male fortitude that just can’t resist touching or raping a woman because of her short skirt or the fact that she had a bit of cleavage showing. This archaic thinking had women wearing tons of clothing in centuries past, but I’d like to think we’re a bit more enlightened today and can hold men accountable for their “lust” and impulse control.
Shauna Ubersox, a fellow RR Star blogger, wrote a very good blog covering Chicago’s Slutwalk, an event that raises awareness of rape and the irresponsibility of placing the blame on the victim. As usual, the excuses for the rapist were piling in on the comments; paying lip-service to the fact that no woman deserves to be raped, BUT she really shouldn’t be dressing “like that” and inviting someone to rape her. You know, no one deserves to be shot for wearing tennis shoes with jeans, BUT you really shouldn’t invite someone to shoot you by wearing tennis shoes with jeans…I mean after all, everyone knows how tempting it is to shoot someone who’s wearing tennis shoes with jeans and not actually doing something athletic…right?
The fact that two thirds of women are raped by someone they know should go far in circumventing the excuse that what she wore got her raped. Research indicates that men who are hypersexual, antisocial and unemotional/callous are more likely to rape. These indicators are influenced by alcohol use, pornography, distorted perceptions and rape attitudes.
It’s far past time to hold rapists accountable for their actions and stop blaming the victim. The “what she wore was too tempting” argument is as believable as the tennis shoe argument I made above. A woman wearing a suit is just as likely to be raped as a woman in short shorts and a tank top. Of course there are safety factors that every woman knows and has been told about since she was a child: don’t go in dark places, if in a club or at a party, don’t go to the bathroom or anywhere else alone, don’t leave with strange men, etc. Practicing these tips don’t prevent workplace sexual violence, acquaintance sexual violence or marital sexual violence.
Only half of all reported sexual assaults result in an arrest and in only 20% of those does the rapist do jail time. Holding rapists accountable and punishing them for violence against women is the only way to deter sexual violence. Making excuses for them only enables and plays the “poor man couldn’t help himself” card. And that is unacceptable.
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I didn’t see any ‘excuses’ for the rapist being touted in the comment section. What myself and someone else said was that women need to take personal responsibilty to keep themselves safe as well. No one said anything about excusing the rapist. Rapists should be jailed. No exceptions. What I was trying to say was that women should take precautions to protect themselves. Stay out of dangerous situations. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. However, in the imperfect world, you can’t do whatever you want, whenever you want because there are crazy psychos out there that want to hurt you. Yes, please tell your children ‘don’t rape’, but also teach them to be proactive in protecting themselves. And yes, that includes taking some responsibility for yourself. This comes from someone who has experienced it.
Adding a woman’s attire to a rape conversation is inappropriate. Personal responsiblity is one thing, linking her attire to rape is another and however subtle, it still puts some of the blame on the victim.
I agree. After re-reading my comments on the other blog, I realize that it did indeed sound like I agreed that a woman’s clothes are responsible for sexual assault against her. I do not believe that. I am mostly concerned with women making sure they protect themselves from dangerous situations.
I think the idea behind SlutWalk is good. However, explain to me why the organizers are using an insulting term like “slut” to somehow empower women and help bring awareness to rape and rape prevention. Isn’t that like using the “N” word to promote African-American pride? I can’t seem to square that up and find it odd that educated and enlightened women would support the use of that word in this effort when in other contexts they fight against it as an insult.
two thirds of women are NOT raped by someone they know..two thirds of women who are raped, are raped by someone they know….
not all sexual assault is rape either…..an attempted rape is still a sexual assault…any unwnated “intimate” contact constitutes sexual assault.
In a perfect world, you could go anywhere, dressed as provocatively as you like, and fear nothing.
But, the more that you draw attention to yourself, by how you dress, how you act, and/or the type of neighborhood that you are in, the greater the possibility of becoming a crime victim. This also applies to males.
BTW, you could dress like a nun, and some deviants would still go after you.
Concealed-carry, anyone?
Monkey – I believe they used the term “slut” because it’s often how women who have been raped are portrayed. Unfortunately, it’s one more excuse to lay the blame at the woman’s feet.
Concerned – you are correct in your comment that all sexual assault is not rape and that unwanted intimate contact constitutes sexual assault.
SNuss – you just don’t get that rape is NOT a victim’s fault. When 2/3′s of reported assaults are by know perpetrators, how was their attire an influencing factor? Rape isn’t normally about sex, which throws the “slut” attire excuse out the window.
Kris, where did I say that rape was the victim’s fault?
The world is populated by all kinds of people, and some are not very nice. The issue is the perpetrator’s deluded perception of the victim. Like it, or not, how you look and act DOES make a difference in how others respond to you, and it applies to both sexes. I’m not excusing the criminal’s behavior, but it exists, and you have to be prepared to respond to an act of aggression. I wish it wasn’t that way, but it is.