Aretha sings about it, Maya Angelou talks and writes about it and Ghandi believed in living it: Respect. It’s an old fashioned word that today probably doesn’t have the impact and meaning it did when Baby Boomers and Gen X’ers were growing up.
A week or so ago I found myself sitting around a table with the usual suspects from the private/public/volunteer leadership sectors; half of these people I saw at five different meetings during the week, we tend to respect each other for our opinions and experiences. Oddly, we were gathered to talk about just that, respect, and the glaring lack thereof in our community. The conversation began around children and the need to impress upon them the importance of respect; the discussion quickly turned to adults.
I’ve almost become immune to rudeness and personal attacks; I know many who share the experience and have also developed an immunity. For some reason people have a difficult time separating a difference of opinion from disliking a person and personally attacking them. All you have to do is listen to community members addressing a School Board, City/Village/County Council or Board or any number of decision making bodies and hear their words dripping with disrespect and venom – public and elected officials can be just as guilty when talking to each other or their constituents.
We no longer debate the topic of dissension; we attack the person. Why? I’ve noticed people who comment on blogs or articles on the Register Star frequently attack the writer or blogger; not respectfully debate the issue at hand. I don’t have to agree with Ted Biondo on everything he writes, but I do respect him and the fact that he’s entitled to his opinion. I also appreciate when we do disagree, it’s done respectfully and there are no personal attacks or grudges, we stay on topic and conclude we have differing opinions and move on.
A very wise man at the meeting I referenced (he probably just cracked up reading that description of himself) stated, and I’m paraphrasing here: “It’s our fault people don’t show respect today. We’ve made it acceptable for children and adults to be rude and disrespectful – just look at our culture. Obnoxious and rude television shows, music, reality TV – it’s cool and funny to be disrespectful.” He’s absolutely right; we’ve allowed this to occur and often we’re guilty, too.
How do we get the train back on the tracks now that it’s so far off? I think first we have to begin calling people, especially kids, on their behavior when they’re disrespectful . Don’t tolerate rudeness and disrespect in your daily discourse and model respectful dialogue.
Operation Respect is a wonderful tool for the region to begin working with children and teaching them to respect themselves as well as others. I’ve had a couple of staff trained in the curriculum and we’re excited to blend the mechanics and teachings into the YWCA’s existing programming. I’ve been pleased to see a number of organizations and school district leadership involved in Operation Respect and I’m thankful to the generous donors who stepped forward to fund staff positions that will fully launch the program in the Rock River Valley.
It’s up to us to decide we want to return to a more respectful society; it’s up to us to teach our children respect. We’re the only one’s who can turn the tide. I challenge each of you reading this to commit to one week of respectful behavior; no personal attacks, no name calling, no sneering and no gossiping; debate the issue and leave personal attacks out. Can you do it?
Thank you, Kris. Well said.