What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen?
October 6th, 2008 at 04:41pm Will Pfeifer
PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE is often described as the worst movie of all time, but it’s not. In fact, it’s not even close.
It’s a simple question, but I want you to think before you answer. I’m not talking about a movie you don’t like, or a blockbuster that was disappointing, or a movie with a bad performance, or bad direction, or a bad script.
I’m talking terrible. Awful. So bad you can’t believe it was made. So bad you can’t believe the people who made it had enough sense to load film into a camera and press the “start” button.
Post your picks in the comment section. Feel free to name more than one, and feel free to explain why you think your choices deserve the title of “Worst Movie Ever.”
Because in next week’s Movie Man column, I’m going to top them all.
I guarantee it.
Entry Filed under: Bad movies
11 Comments Add your own
1. better not leave a name | October 6th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
without a doubt, Showgirls. Script and acting so bad that even with tons of nudity, somebody watching it can’t get “happy”, if ya know what I mean.
2. Echo4Charlie | October 6th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
My pick, as far as the worst movie that I, personally, have ever seen is the 1985 post-apocolyptic masterpiece: Def-Con 4.
The film portrayed three astronauts who survive World War III aboard a space station. Eventually, though, they return to Earth and face some challenges.
Ironically, despite this film being about the aftermath of a nuclear war, ‘Def-Con 4′ actually means “Defense Condition: Normal, with increased intelligence and strengthened security measures”. Def-Con 4 is only one step above “Peacetime readiness”. Def-Con 2 or Def-Con 1 would deal with potential or actual nuclear exchanges.
Another candidate is The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987). Words can not describe that one………………………………….
A final candidate never actually hit theatres, and it was admitted that the originally attempted Fantastic 4 movie, a B-movie produced by Roger Corman, was filmed simply in attempt to retain the film rights, but, was never officially released. If you’ve ever seen the trailer, you’ll see why.
Captain Ameica (Eric Salinger) was pretty bad, too………….
3. John N | October 6th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Easy. Easy. Easy.
It’s a tie between XANADU and TWO OF A KIND. The worst movies I’ve ever paid full price to see.
4. Charlie Rainman | October 6th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Cobra with Sly Stallone
5. Chris Soprych | October 6th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Will, I have an idea on how we should do the video this week. I give you a hint. There’s an old kitchen up on the eight floor, it has painted wood cabinets, plus I’ll bring a drill and a real long bit.
6. John | October 6th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Tough choice, but I think I’ll have to choose MEET THE SPARTANS. Nothing worse than an unfunny comedy.
7. LD | October 7th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Gina Gershon at least makes Showgirls somewhat watchable.
For me, the worst movie I’ve ever seen is Armageddon. Now maybe I’m not quite following Will’s rules, but I can’t possibly imagine a worse movie. I was drug to the theaters to see it and then years ago when I bought a PS2, it came bundled with that movie. To this day It’s still in the cellophane. I don’t know why I haven’t thrown it out.
Anyone want it?
8. Neal Ken | October 7th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Zohan
9. hokumboy | October 8th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
CHILDREN OF THE CORN
10. hokumboy | October 8th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
But LOVE STORY is a very close second.
11. jan | October 10th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Worst movie ever seen: I’d have to list two of them. I don’t see many really bad movies because I’m so picky about what I do see, but the two worst that I can think of are BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA and JOHNNY MNEMONIC. My sister and I laughed all the way through the first one—unfortunately, no one else in the audience seemed to think it was funny. I thought maybe it was supposed to be a parody, but maybe not. Keanu Reeves’ hair kept changing color from scene to scene (brown to gray to brown to gray), the scene where the one girl is being really seductive to all the young men and someone says, “She’s such a friendly girl,” the ludicrously long train that Dracula has and the hair, and the ending during which we were laughing out loud uncontrollably: all these things make it a contender for worst film—if it wasn’t meant to be funny, that is, and people seemed to take it very seriously. The second film starred Keanu Reeves, and it was also hysterically funny: his big dramatic moment when he cries out in great anguish, “I want a freshly ironed shirt!!!” among other things, and when the one character turns out to be a fish—my friend and I saw that coming long before, and we were giggling uncontrollably. That’s when I seriously began to doubt if Keanu Reeves could act at all—it was so over the top.
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