Mmmmm….Soylent Green

6 comments April 3rd, 2008

Last night’s episode of TOP CHEF (See? I do watch more than movies!) involved contestants picking a movie then cooking up a dish based on the film. Though some of them were imaginative (The A CHRISTMAS STORY course was surprisingly clever), some were just plain lame (GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM? Really?). So, in the interest of adding a bit of spice to the mix, here are my suggestions. I don’t know much about cooking, but I do know these movies would have inspired more memorable dishes. In some cases, much more memorable…

THERE WILL BE BLOOD — A milkshake, of course. And, midway through the judge’s tasting of it, the cook could whip out a giant straw, extend it across the room and take a sip, proudly proclaiming “I drink your milkshake!” ala Daniel Plainview.

GOODFELLAS — A delicious pasta dish, just like the wiseguys make during their prison stay. Make sure you slice the garlic with a razor blade, like Paulie does. It really is a very good system.

BABE — Any pork dish would suffice.

FIGHT CLUB — Clean food, please.

RATATOUILLE — The title food, of course, with bonus points awarded for the number of live rats incorporated into the dish.

AIRPLANE! — Chicken or fish. Or lasagna.

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, DAWN OF THE DEAD, DAY OF THE DEAD, RAVENOUS, ALIVE and CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL — I’m sure you can guess what the main ingredient in this course would be. Sure, the degree of difficulty would be high, but think how impressive the victory would be if the judges actually liked it. Trouble is, this ingredient isn’t exactly sitting on the shelf of your local Whole Foods store.

SOYLENT GREEN — Obviously.

I’m sure I’m missing a few obvious choices, so share your suggestions in the comment field.

It was all just a dream…

1 comment April 2nd, 2008

Had a weird movie-related dream last night, so I thought I’d share it here.

I was in Hollywood (which I’ve never been to) back in either the late 1950s or early 1960s (and I’ve never been there, either, since I was born in 1967). I was walking through the hallway of a studio, when I almost bumped into James Dean. His height surprised me — he was over six feet tall, and I had always thought he was shorter. He looked like he was dressed for a Western (maybe GIANT, his last film) but before I had a chance to ask him, I found myself deep in coversation with Jerry Lewis. I was telling him how much I liked his movie, THE PATSY, especially the casting of CITIZEN KANE actor Everett Sloane in a key role. I said Sloane’s performance worked because he seemed to take the movie’s situations seriously, and Jerry agreed, saying that’s the key to comedy. “You have to take it seriously!” Then I woke up.

Three post-awakening observations:

1. Besides being just plain impossible, this dream is also chronologically impossible. Dean died in 1955, and THE PATSY didn’t hit theaters until 1964.

2. The idea that Jerry Lewis, of all people, would say the key to comedy is taking the situation seriously should’ve tipped me off right away that this was some kind of crazy dream. Lewis can’t be serious for more than 10 seconds in a row.

3. I really do like the movie THE PATSY, though I don’t think there’s anything that remarkable about Everett Sloane’s performance.

Any other movie-inspired dreams out there, the weirder the better? Let’s hear ‘em!