Oh Mom, Why do I need a Bar Mitzvah?

May 20th, 2008 at 04:03pm Amy Barrett

  Amy L. Barrett, MBA, CFA, CFP®, CDFA™ 

Since I’m up to my eyeballs in preparation for my 13-year old son’s Bar Mitzvah this month, I thought I would share some of my observations.  In defending his assault on my view that he has to go through with it, I failed miserably to convey the fact that generations of Jews consider the age of thirteen a milestone.  The fact is that in 4000 BC, the odds are that he would not have made it to thirteen.  I didn’t tell him that because it would not have sunk in.  I did remind him that if he doesn’t go through with it he might not make it to fourteen. 

Lately, much that I say doesn’t sink in.  In fact, that I repeatedly remind him that that he must sing in Hebrew, several long blessings in front of 150 people who he barely knows. Does he practice? NO. It’s a good thing that only my brother-in-law, a serious Jew, and the Rabbi will know that he faked it. 

The only logic that appeals to him is that he will get gifts in exchange for his years of preparation and song.  Money is a motivating factor. In fact, he has his wish list already assembled.  Perhaps spiritual leaders got it wrong, instead of offering heaven for a lifetime of good deeds, they should have offered a Bar Mitzvah and very big party!

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