An airport director roasting over an open fire…

November 8th, 2007 at 08:58pm Thomas V. Bona

Just got back from a fun event - a holiday roast of Chicago/Rockford International Airport Executive Director Bob O’Brien, hosted by theEpilepsy Foundation of North/Central Illinois, Iowa and Nebraska. This was a fundraiser for the group and, like its signature mud volleyball fundraiser, it was a blast.

O’Brien got (good-naturedly) skewered for his tireless promotion of the airport, his changing of the airport’s name, his gift of gab and personality quirks. Some of the roasters got roasted too.

A few of the best jokes of the night:

• Roastmaster Mike Dunn, chairman of the Greater Rockford Airport Authority board - “How long is it going to be that Bob will sit still, to stay there while there’s a microphone six feet away? … Putting Bob that close to a mic and not letting him talk is like being waterboarded down in Gitmo.”
• Amy Ott, the airport’s deputy director for finance and administration, on why Bob came to Rockford - “He heard Rockford had plenty of parking, free parking. He is quite cheap.”
• Nick Ancona, former board, on interviewing candidates before Bob got the job five years ago - “We had a lot of people apply for the job. Why wouldn’t they? There’s nothing to do. They could come here to retire.”
• Dunn, on Mayor Larry Morrissey - “Larry really likes appearing with Bob because every time Larry appears next to Bob, no one is going to accuse Larry of giving a long speech.”
• Morrissey, in turned, asked how many airport employees it took to screw in a lightbulb. Two, one to do it and “one airport board chairman to take credit for it.”
• Morrissey also joked about how the name “Chicago/Rockford International Airport” has tricked foreign delegations into visiting Rockford. “It’s working. However, after a couple days, they finally figure out the Amerock Building is not the Sears Tower and the Rock River isn’t Lake Michigan.”
• Register Star columnist Chuck Sweeny - “You can fly anywhere in the U.S. from Rockford, provided you’re willing to fly at 3 a.m. in a Plexiglass container.”
• Sweeny also, in a riff on O’Brien’s constant promotion, mimicked a speech by the director promoting the airport as having “the nation’s 187th fastest growing infield grass.” He also “announced” the start of direct flights to Chechnya on Air Chechnya to go with flights to Budapest on Air Hungary and “Festival Airlines flying the phantom jet.”
• Dunn on roaster and WREX-TV anchor Eric Wilson - “I called out to WREX and I asked John Chadwick if we could get the cute anchor. John’s got a sick sense of humor, so he sent Eric.”
• Wilson referred to short-lived TransMeridian Airlines as “Temporarily Mismanaged Airlines.” He added, “We have actually done interviews with Bob that have lasted longer than the tenure of Hooters Air. … And what about Festival Airlines? I don’t have a joke, what about Festival Airlines?”
• Scott Christiansen, chairman of the Winnebago County Board - “While Bob has no enemies, he’s disliked by most of his friends.”

There were other jokes I can’t print here on a family Web site, but a good time was had by all. Here’s <a href=”http://www.rrstar.com/multimedia/x481180940″>a video of the event</a>.

Entry Filed under: Uncategorized