Wedding Bells Are Ringing…

1 comment June 20th, 2008

I woke up this morning and looked out the window to see that the sky was still blue, the sun was still rising in the East, and the birds were still singing. I checked the newspaper and didn’t see any reports of new earthquakes or other disasters. Hmmm. It’s been at least 24 hours since California began legally recognizing gay marriage and ….. NOTHING HAPPENED! The sky didn’t fall, the world didn’t end, and my marriage of 27 years STILL doesn’t feel threatened.

All the hand-wringing and indignation of the religious right over this OUTRAGE (as they term it) has never really made sense to me. Why would they want to prevent two people who truly love each other and who want to commit to a lifelong loving relationship from having the legal benefits that marriage confers? I just don’t understand.

It’s time we get past the idea that two people of the same sex marrying will somehow “destroy” the sanctity of marriage. Unfortunately, the word “marriage” has gotten so tied up in religious connotations that many people have trouble separating the two. Marriage, at its basis, is a legal status conferred by the state. It comes with certain legal rights, including the right to inherit property, have input into the partner’s health status if that partner is incapable of making decisions, and many other rights to numerous to list.

One MUST acquire a license from the state in order to become legally married. One DOES NOT have to get married in a church or have any religious aspects to the marriage ceremony whatsoever. There is also no law saying that a church must bless a marriage union. In other words, you CAN get married without the church, but you CANNOT get married without the state. Look at all the people who get married at the courthouse or on a beach in Hawaii. Is their union any less of a marriage than one performed in a church by a pastor? No.

If we really want to strengthen the sanctity of marriage, why not require a certain amount of counseling and partner education before allowing people to marry? Let’s help people build a foundation of love and understanding that can help a marriage last rather than fighting about who can marry who. The time has come for all individuals, regardless of sexual orientation, to have the legal right to marry and enjoy the same legal rights and responsibilities. Let’s get on with it so we can move on to something that REALLY matters, like the economy.

Gary Tiffany