When to demur and when to be demure

Add comment August 12th, 2008

Two words that are easy to mix up, probably because we don’t get much practice with them, are “demur” and “demure.” They aren’t quite homonyms, but close enough to add to the confusion.

The former, “demur,” is most often used as a verb to mean “to hesitate because of one’s doubts or objections; have scruples; object.” It comes from the Latin “demorari” for “to delay.”

The preferred pronunciation is a “long e” sound on the first syllable. The stress is on the second, which is said the same as the “mur-” in “murder.”

The other word, “demure,” is an adjective meaning “decorous; modest; reserved” or “”affectedly modest or shy; coy.” It traces back to the Latin “maturus” for “mature.”

Its first syllable has a “short i” sound, as in “did,” and the stressed second syllable is pronounced like the “mur-” in “mural.”

It’s understandable that a demure person might demur on using either one.